Bill Turnbull Spoilt My Dinner

Research has recently proven that eating junk food whilst pregnant may cause long-lasting damage to the child, according to BBC news. Hmmm. Very brave, these scientists, in the safety of their own laboratories, aren't they? Have they taken their new research onto the streets and actually broken the news to any pregnant women? No? Have they ever tried to remove a tub of Ben and Jerry's from a woman in the later stages of pregnancy? Didn't think so. For next time, chaps, I recommend you stop experimenting on rats and mice and make your "research" a little truer to life. May I suggest the following:

1. Go to the wilds of Canada

2. Find a brown bear who's having a really bad day

3. Remove deer carcass from its paws. Remind bear that red meat is a poor source of nutrition for its unborn child and also bad for the environment. Suggest that bear has a nice free range chicken salad instead.

4. Then, and only then, will the pregnant women of Great Britain put up with Bill Turnbull telling them on Breakfast News what they should and shouldn't be eating.

Anyway, I'm sitting here talking this nonsense when there's cheesecake in the fridge with my name on it.

Suck it up, Bill, suck it up.   

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